Do you shy away from networking socially? Are you missing an incredible opportunity?

Many people tend to leave networking until business functions , mixers or strong networking events such as BNI where they believe it is acceptable to network almost like networking was a dirty word or deed. They do not explore the opportunities of business from Social circles, sports groups, evening meals, school clubs etc. For some reason in the western culture for many people it seems to be a taboo to broach work because “we are not at work”.

There are many opportunities being missed here and all it requires is a mind set change and some tips to begin exploring numerous opportunities.

Networking should be about helping others.

Dr Ivan Misner says “networking is helping others as a way of growing your own business” .

If we can change our mind set at these events. We enter into discussions to help our friends with any problems they may be having. It could be work or social, then we as a result, can begin building up social collateral.

It is the law of reprocity. If I help you, then you will want to help me. It may not lead to immediate business but they will certainly think highly of you for any assistance given and be more open to assist you in the future. When was the last time you asked a friend how their work was going or what challenges they were having ( in depth ) and then tried to help find solutions.

Normally a social conversation goes along the lines of: “How’s work Bob” “It’s terrible Jim, sales are down .We can’t get those two big clients that we need for the month. Still we aren’t at work now and you don’t want to hear this.”

If Jim could learn to dig a little deeper he may have the solutions to Bobs’ needs. He may even know one of the clients that Bob is trying to meet or know someone who knows someone. “ well actually Bob, yes I would like to hear, I may be able to help”

Its’ all about try to help. When we know we are trying to help our friends and colleague it is so much easier to ask these questions.  Sometimes we do not enter into conversations. I can be that we simply do not know what to say. We don’t know people very well and we feel awkward.

We often run out of things to say once the initial pleasantries are over. Trained networkers use an acronym which provides a mental template: G.A.I.N.S :   Goals, Achievements Interests, Networks and skills (We can even add “families” to this) Following this basic format we can learn a lot about peoples experiences motivations, dreams, goals and likes, affiliations and specialties. Armed with all this information we are in a much better position to help them as above.

We tell kids “ If you don’t ask you don’t get” well we need to ask questions . “Information is King” after all. You can and should, apply the same strategies above to “Business networking events” but why not apply them at social ones as well. Do you really know where your best friend grew up, what his proudest moment was and why? What their life long dream (goal is) maybe you can help them get there.

In summary

1Look to help people “everyone needs something”.

2 Use GAINS to learn more about people, so you can help them in more ways.

3 What ever happens you will deepen your friendship.

Phil Bedford